I haven’t felt as intensely as I did then. For years I’ve felt that so many things were being taken away from me. I felt that no one could give me anything. So I have lived a hard lesson that I taught myself. Don’t let anyone take anything from you. I won’t allow anyone to take pieces of me. I make it so hard for people to get close and I make it even harder for people to stay there. I don’t really care about anyone really. I really don’t. I can pretend that I do all so well. It’s how life works, isn’t it? We pretend that we’re not selfish. We need happiness, so we do everything we can to focus on getting friends, having good health, being proactive, having sex, being beautiful, being interesting. People aren’t real. Everything is an act. Then you have people who begin to break down the wall, but they leave. They always leave. They crack you slightly half-open and then you’re left to stitch yourself back together. Rebuild the wall. People aren’t real. People aren’t real. People aren’t real. Stitch. Stitch. Stitch. But you, no, you didn’t unstitch me. You smashed everything apart and left me with nothing to sow myself back up with. You renewed me. You really did. I haven’t felt any emotion properly until now. I haven’t seen anything properly until now. You have given me so much unbearable beauty and pain. All my awe of you is mixed with all my hate for you. But I can never forget you. I will never forget you. I will never forget about how I felt with you.